The art of letter writing is a dying one.. I remember getting so excited whenever I received one.
I am also partial to getting the last word in..so that’s led me to today’s post..
Letters to Exes…
I believe all relationships that come to an end should serve as life lessons. Now, some do more than others, so I’m picking a Top 5 of sorts.. mainly because that’s my lucky number..and because I have no intention of filling up this blog with all my past transgressions.. so here goes nothing:
Letter #1:
Dear CG,
You never forget your first love. So, I will never forget you. I learned so many things from our relationship. Namely, since you were my first kiss that I simply adore kissing. Most of the firsts that come along with puppy love were to follow..including my first broken heart. Thankfully, I also learned that you can indeed survive one. Actually, I learned you can survive it not once, but twice. Fortunately, now I am older and wiser and just know that it was definitely a stepping stone for things to come..
So thanks for the memories good and even bad, -JJ
Letter #2:
Dear JP,
I learned that some guys should come with a warning label. As a matter of fact, many should have one tattooed on their forehead. You, would be, one of those people. Maybe, some women should come with one too. But make no mistake, a warning label would save a whole lotta folks a whole lotta trouble. And, it doesn’t have to be that detailed.. a simple “Warning: Stay Away” would suffice.
No I just hope you find someone who loves the same two things that you do. -JJ
Letter #3:
Dear AS,
Timing..everything is a matter of timing..this is just one of the things I took from our time together. Also, it is nice to be friends with someone before you get involved any further. It brings a certain level of comfort to the situation. The only sad part is it further adds to the broken heartedness when it ends because you not only lose someone you love but a friend as well. I had truly convinced myself we would last forever. but, I think at the age of 18 you think that way about everything…
So, then I learned everything happens for a reason. And again, you can always pick yourself up and dust everything off and keep on trucking.
Now, One of us is married, and happy, with kids.. so see? It does work out.. Congratulations -JJ
Letter #4:
Dear JL,
Everyone is looking for something..and sometimes people think they can find it in another person. Others attempt to find what they are looking for in different ways. So, I learned it is okay to have hopes and dreams and to believe in them and believe in someone else’s. but you have to eventually choose, decide, pick, hone in on..something/someone. And, you have to be willing to compromise..but not on yourself or your beliefs. I grew up a lot in the time we were together and in that time I learned a lot about me. I think life’s journey is about learning about yourself and if you can do that alongside someone else it can only enhance it.. but sometimes it doesn’t. Every once in a while, it hurts more than it helps.
So to you I hope you do find what you are looking for. -JJ
Letter #5:
Dear CC,
“a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that’s holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake.”
I admit I found that in a book I read recently..so I can’t take the credit for it. But yes, walls were torn down, I was “smacked” awake so-to-speak. Then, I set out on making plans for a future..our future..
But I should have known just as soon as I had some ideas, a little thing like life would bring me back to reality. I bet all I had on a thing called love, but in the end, I learned it wasn’t enough. And, so the lesson is..sometimes even love is a gamble. And, just because you want one thing doesn’t mean the other person does. You made the choice and went where you really wanted to be. I can do nothing now but respect that.
I only ever wanted you to be truly happy, which is really what love is about….being happy… But JMCC AND JLCC and good luck. -JJ
In the wake of my “letters” this came out as well.. I haven’t written a poem in ages.. I guess maybe because I technically “write” every day.. but nevertheless here it is..
I am haunted by a ghost
But, not the kind of which scary movies boasts.
It is of a past,
that did not last,
the forever that was promised to me.
So, now I turn my head and hope to see
the hands, the heart, and the face
that will help erase
what lingers from a hope so pure
that made each breath more sure
of what I thought there was to be..
the you.. the me..the we..
But I.. I was not your choice
And now I'm left with no voice
Be happy.. for that is what meant most
And I.. I will forever hold my ghost
SONGS OF THE DAY:
"Don’t Dream It’s Over" –Crowded House and
“Some Day When I Stop Loving You” –Carrie Underwood
Friday, August 27, 2010
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Love Who You Love
“If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it’s yours forever. If it doesn’t, then it was never meant to be.” -Anonymous
I’m going to just have to call BS on this one…
If you truly love someone you never really let them go. In fact, you do whatever you can no matter what it “costs” to be with them. And, if you really do love someone and they love you in return then it doesn’t “cost” anything to be with them. You don’t lose anything with love, or you shouldn’t. You shouldn’t have to give up anything or anyone. Love allows you to blossom, to be better, and to love yourself as well as another person. It’s why people who truly love each other grow older together…
If you do let them “go” it is called a break-up. I just don’t buy “I loved him/her enough that I had to let them go.” What the hell does that even mean? If you are not with the person you “love” it is because you do not want to be with them. End of story. That’s it.
The only other reason you are no longer with someone you really truly are in love with is because one of you DIED.
Oh, yeah and No one can be “yours forever”. You can no longer “own” people. Slavery was abolished in 1865.
SONG OF THE DAY: Love Who You Love -Rascal Flatts
I’m going to just have to call BS on this one…
If you truly love someone you never really let them go. In fact, you do whatever you can no matter what it “costs” to be with them. And, if you really do love someone and they love you in return then it doesn’t “cost” anything to be with them. You don’t lose anything with love, or you shouldn’t. You shouldn’t have to give up anything or anyone. Love allows you to blossom, to be better, and to love yourself as well as another person. It’s why people who truly love each other grow older together…
If you do let them “go” it is called a break-up. I just don’t buy “I loved him/her enough that I had to let them go.” What the hell does that even mean? If you are not with the person you “love” it is because you do not want to be with them. End of story. That’s it.
The only other reason you are no longer with someone you really truly are in love with is because one of you DIED.
Oh, yeah and No one can be “yours forever”. You can no longer “own” people. Slavery was abolished in 1865.
SONG OF THE DAY: Love Who You Love -Rascal Flatts
Monday, August 23, 2010
Going to the Movies..
I love a trip to the movie theater.. especially when the movie is worth the now eight bucks you have to pay..
However, I do not pay said $8 to hear you talk to your neighbor, watch you check your cell phone, or listen to you answer that damned thing either. I absolutely want to resort to physical violence when any of those things happen. NOTHING and I mean NOTHING is important enough for you to interupt MY viewing of the movie that I PAID to SEE!
Alright, off my soapbox..
Saw Eat, Pray, Love this weekend..
I give it an overall 7 out of 10 and as far as adaptation from the book I give it a 7.5.
Julia Roberts as Liz.. is, for the most part, believable. Granted Julia is older and looks older than Liz is in the book, but I cannot honestly come up with someone in their mid-30's actress wise who I could see playing Liz instead of Julia.
They did an excellent job on the actors playing Ketut and his wife.. Richard in India...Wayan (although there wasn't enough of her & the way they thrust the house thing in there was like "oh yeah, she got her a house, we should add that") then there is Jarvier Bardem as Felipe. That was THE BEST casting of the entire movie. Not only because Bardem is HAWT, but because he is such a good actor.. I believed in him as Felipe wholeheartedly...
For the most part they did a good job on the three different locations she goes to on her journey..capturing the beauty and essence of each..I cannot imagine how hard it was to condense each the way they did. The screenplay was well written and they even added some memorable lines that were not in the book. I laughed and cried in most of the parts I did in the book..perhaps not as much.. and I was craving Italian food as soon as we left.
Disappointments:
I was not happy with the way they portrayed Liz's ex-husband. In no way did I picture him as a bumbling idiot and the moviemakers when above and beyond in making him that way. It was disappointing especially since they did choose a good actor for the role..
Moving on to the bad.. James Franco in no way, shape, or form is David. First of all, he was a bad actor badly playing a bad actor. And the relationship he had with Julia in the movie was not at all believable. I did not think these two were starcrossed lovers destined to forever be linked by their souls at all.. A.) He was too young.(Liz & David are closer in age in the book) B.) he was just bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad. It was painful to watch every scene "David" was in because of just how bad Franco is..
There were, as with all movies taken from books, alot of things done differently and a lot of things left out that I wished weren't.
The book resounded so much with me that I will forever love it.. the movie.. eh..notsomuch..
Song of the Day: Good Life by OneRepublic
However, I do not pay said $8 to hear you talk to your neighbor, watch you check your cell phone, or listen to you answer that damned thing either. I absolutely want to resort to physical violence when any of those things happen. NOTHING and I mean NOTHING is important enough for you to interupt MY viewing of the movie that I PAID to SEE!
Alright, off my soapbox..
Saw Eat, Pray, Love this weekend..
I give it an overall 7 out of 10 and as far as adaptation from the book I give it a 7.5.
Julia Roberts as Liz.. is, for the most part, believable. Granted Julia is older and looks older than Liz is in the book, but I cannot honestly come up with someone in their mid-30's actress wise who I could see playing Liz instead of Julia.
They did an excellent job on the actors playing Ketut and his wife.. Richard in India...Wayan (although there wasn't enough of her & the way they thrust the house thing in there was like "oh yeah, she got her a house, we should add that") then there is Jarvier Bardem as Felipe. That was THE BEST casting of the entire movie. Not only because Bardem is HAWT, but because he is such a good actor.. I believed in him as Felipe wholeheartedly...
For the most part they did a good job on the three different locations she goes to on her journey..capturing the beauty and essence of each..I cannot imagine how hard it was to condense each the way they did. The screenplay was well written and they even added some memorable lines that were not in the book. I laughed and cried in most of the parts I did in the book..perhaps not as much.. and I was craving Italian food as soon as we left.
Disappointments:
I was not happy with the way they portrayed Liz's ex-husband. In no way did I picture him as a bumbling idiot and the moviemakers when above and beyond in making him that way. It was disappointing especially since they did choose a good actor for the role..
Moving on to the bad.. James Franco in no way, shape, or form is David. First of all, he was a bad actor badly playing a bad actor. And the relationship he had with Julia in the movie was not at all believable. I did not think these two were starcrossed lovers destined to forever be linked by their souls at all.. A.) He was too young.(Liz & David are closer in age in the book) B.) he was just bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad. It was painful to watch every scene "David" was in because of just how bad Franco is..
There were, as with all movies taken from books, alot of things done differently and a lot of things left out that I wished weren't.
The book resounded so much with me that I will forever love it.. the movie.. eh..notsomuch..
Song of the Day: Good Life by OneRepublic
Monday, August 16, 2010
Friends Are Friends Forever
Everyone has a core group of friends. The ones that you can go to anytime anyplace anywhere for anything. I actually have several that I managed to make over the years. And, I am grateful for and blessed by each and every one of them.
One such group would be the high school gals.. actually we met before then, but our relationships sort of became solidified during that time.
Liz aka Elizabeth/Lizbeth/Lidabuh/Frank, Fran aka Narf, Frank, Frances, Frannie, Krissy aka Kristen, Jen aka Jennifer, & Kim aka Lo, Schlo. oh and me..
I met Liz, Jen, and Lo in 7th grade. Krissy sometime before that and Fran I've known the longest. She and I went to church together and if memory serves me that means we met somewhere between 4th and 6th grade.
Each of these girls I love very dearly. Over the years our friendships have had their ups and downs but I know at the end of the day they are there for me and I for them. They're my Ya-Ya's..
"We are the flames of the fires, the whirling of the winds. We are the waters of the rains and the rivers and the oceans. We are the rocks and the stones. And now by the power invested in me, I declare we are the mighty Ya-Ya priestesses. Let no man put us under. Now our blood flows through each other as it's done for all eternity. Loyal forever. We raise our voices in the words of Mumbo Gumbo... YA-YA!"
Everyone's all grown up now of course (for the most part) and off doing their own things.. I'm so proud of us all..
Case in point, Fran, is off to embark on a new journey. It's why I'm writing this.. she's headed off to another state hours and hours away to start a new career. I wish her much luck and many blessings. I know she and Ethan will be wildly successful and I couldn't be happier for her. and just like I know all this I know our friendship will endure...
Song of the Day:
Packing up the dreams God planted
In the fertile soil of you
Can't believe the hopes He's granted
Means a chapter in your life is through
But we'll keep you close as always
It won't even seem you've gone
'Cause our hearts in big and small ways
Will keep the love that keeps us strong
Chorus:
And friends are friends forever
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
'Cause the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long to live as friends.
With the faith and love God's given
Springing from the hope we know
We will pray the joy you'll live in
Is the strength that now you show
But we'll keep you close as always
It won't even seem you've gone
'Cause our hearts in big and small ways
Will keep the love that keeps us strong
One such group would be the high school gals.. actually we met before then, but our relationships sort of became solidified during that time.
Liz aka Elizabeth/Lizbeth/Lidabuh/Frank, Fran aka Narf, Frank, Frances, Frannie, Krissy aka Kristen, Jen aka Jennifer, & Kim aka Lo, Schlo. oh and me..
I met Liz, Jen, and Lo in 7th grade. Krissy sometime before that and Fran I've known the longest. She and I went to church together and if memory serves me that means we met somewhere between 4th and 6th grade.
Each of these girls I love very dearly. Over the years our friendships have had their ups and downs but I know at the end of the day they are there for me and I for them. They're my Ya-Ya's..
"We are the flames of the fires, the whirling of the winds. We are the waters of the rains and the rivers and the oceans. We are the rocks and the stones. And now by the power invested in me, I declare we are the mighty Ya-Ya priestesses. Let no man put us under. Now our blood flows through each other as it's done for all eternity. Loyal forever. We raise our voices in the words of Mumbo Gumbo... YA-YA!"
Everyone's all grown up now of course (for the most part) and off doing their own things.. I'm so proud of us all..
Case in point, Fran, is off to embark on a new journey. It's why I'm writing this.. she's headed off to another state hours and hours away to start a new career. I wish her much luck and many blessings. I know she and Ethan will be wildly successful and I couldn't be happier for her. and just like I know all this I know our friendship will endure...
Song of the Day:
Packing up the dreams God planted
In the fertile soil of you
Can't believe the hopes He's granted
Means a chapter in your life is through
But we'll keep you close as always
It won't even seem you've gone
'Cause our hearts in big and small ways
Will keep the love that keeps us strong
Chorus:
And friends are friends forever
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
'Cause the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long to live as friends.
With the faith and love God's given
Springing from the hope we know
We will pray the joy you'll live in
Is the strength that now you show
But we'll keep you close as always
It won't even seem you've gone
'Cause our hearts in big and small ways
Will keep the love that keeps us strong
Friday, August 13, 2010
Random Things
25 Random Things with commentary
1. I refuse to eat brown M&M’s. I don’t like them. (never have, never will)
2. I have learned that as soon as you utter the words “I will never” God has different ideas. (Boy does he ever)
3. I am not a patient person..I just have a massive capacity for self-control. (I even won the "Self-Control" badge at GA Camp one summer)
4. Worrying is an artform to me. I am worrying about at least 10 things at any given moment. Maybe more. (I've calmed down considerably since I don't have quite as much to worry about, but like I said it's an artform..so I CAN do it anytime, anywhere)
5. I regret going to the college I went to. I’m grateful for the people I met, the good teachers I was exposed to, and the things I learned. But I wish I hadn’t been too afraid to go where I really wanted to go. (I got an education, for that I am blessed. but I'll always have that twinge of "I shoulda")
6. I dip wheat bread in my sweet tea as a snack. (and it is soo good!)
7. I HATE clowns. (This is my Auntie's fault, she takes responsibility for it & everything. but still I hate em.)
8. I think you can love more than one person in your life. And I believe in soulmates, but I think you only get one of those and you don’t always end up together. (yeah. sigh)
9. Birthdays were always a big deal in my family. So much so that I do not work on mine, I consider it a holiday. (it's a national holiday in case you were wondering & I accept presents.. the entire month.. it's not limited to just 1 day)
10. My elbows & knees are double-jointed. I can’t really do anything special; it’s just the way I am. (I think I look odd, but no one else has really ever noticed UNTIL I point it out.. then they always make a face)
11. I LOVE music. I want to constantly listen to it, buy it, own it, sing it, dance to it, whatever. I can’t get enough and there’s very little I don’t like.
12. I wholeheartedly believe what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. And I’m an actual example of it. (BECAUSE I'm still alive)
13. I am picky. V E R Y picky (on soooo many levels & I refuse to apologize for it)
14. I love my family more than they may ever know, and I’m so very grateful that they’ve been there for me when I needed them. (they are soo awesome)
15. Everyone told me my sister and I wouldn’t really get along until we were older. I didn’t really believe this because I wasn’t her biggest fan (of course I loved her, I just didn’t really LIKE her) but now I can honestly say she is my best friend and if I could choose to grow up and old with anyone it’d be her. I hope she sticks around. (crossing my fingers)
16. I have a strong interest in event planning. I haven’t done anything with it other than plan the occasional party or shower, but I’d like to do it on a bigger scale. Too chicken. (still too chicken)
17. I’ve secretly always wanted a house that’s a cross between Graceland and an antebellum home. I love Elvis & the South, so I think it’s a perfect combo.
18. I cannot use scissors very well and it is all my mother’s fault. (she will attest to this)
19. I want to go to a real honest-to-God beach. Where the water is BLUE like you see in the movies.
20. I’m a little bit of a control freak (just a smidge, ok maybe more than a smidge)
21. I want to learn Italian and go back to Italy (mainly b/c of Eat, Pray, Love & b/c it is so awesome)
22. I pretty much starved myself for a year, amongst other things, because I was relentlessly tortured by both girls & boys in junior high. Now, I find it funny/ironic they want to befriend me on FB. (people suck)
23. One of the most profound things that was ever given to me was a speech from Theodore Roosevelt. My 8th grade English teacher wrote me a note and gave it to me. It meant more to me than she’ll ever know. Thanks Ms Atherton, wherever you are. (I need to find her)
24. If I could, I’d get my nails done every week. (it is so amazing. I LOVE it)
25. I NEVER wanted kids until September 15, 2004. That day changed my life forever. (this changes everyday, but I am the BEST auntie EVER)
SONG OF THE DAY: All I Do is Win-DJ Khaled
1. I refuse to eat brown M&M’s. I don’t like them. (never have, never will)
2. I have learned that as soon as you utter the words “I will never” God has different ideas. (Boy does he ever)
3. I am not a patient person..I just have a massive capacity for self-control. (I even won the "Self-Control" badge at GA Camp one summer)
4. Worrying is an artform to me. I am worrying about at least 10 things at any given moment. Maybe more. (I've calmed down considerably since I don't have quite as much to worry about, but like I said it's an artform..so I CAN do it anytime, anywhere)
5. I regret going to the college I went to. I’m grateful for the people I met, the good teachers I was exposed to, and the things I learned. But I wish I hadn’t been too afraid to go where I really wanted to go. (I got an education, for that I am blessed. but I'll always have that twinge of "I shoulda")
6. I dip wheat bread in my sweet tea as a snack. (and it is soo good!)
7. I HATE clowns. (This is my Auntie's fault, she takes responsibility for it & everything. but still I hate em.)
8. I think you can love more than one person in your life. And I believe in soulmates, but I think you only get one of those and you don’t always end up together. (yeah. sigh)
9. Birthdays were always a big deal in my family. So much so that I do not work on mine, I consider it a holiday. (it's a national holiday in case you were wondering & I accept presents.. the entire month.. it's not limited to just 1 day)
10. My elbows & knees are double-jointed. I can’t really do anything special; it’s just the way I am. (I think I look odd, but no one else has really ever noticed UNTIL I point it out.. then they always make a face)
11. I LOVE music. I want to constantly listen to it, buy it, own it, sing it, dance to it, whatever. I can’t get enough and there’s very little I don’t like.
12. I wholeheartedly believe what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. And I’m an actual example of it. (BECAUSE I'm still alive)
13. I am picky. V E R Y picky (on soooo many levels & I refuse to apologize for it)
14. I love my family more than they may ever know, and I’m so very grateful that they’ve been there for me when I needed them. (they are soo awesome)
15. Everyone told me my sister and I wouldn’t really get along until we were older. I didn’t really believe this because I wasn’t her biggest fan (of course I loved her, I just didn’t really LIKE her) but now I can honestly say she is my best friend and if I could choose to grow up and old with anyone it’d be her. I hope she sticks around. (crossing my fingers)
16. I have a strong interest in event planning. I haven’t done anything with it other than plan the occasional party or shower, but I’d like to do it on a bigger scale. Too chicken. (still too chicken)
17. I’ve secretly always wanted a house that’s a cross between Graceland and an antebellum home. I love Elvis & the South, so I think it’s a perfect combo.
18. I cannot use scissors very well and it is all my mother’s fault. (she will attest to this)
19. I want to go to a real honest-to-God beach. Where the water is BLUE like you see in the movies.
20. I’m a little bit of a control freak (just a smidge, ok maybe more than a smidge)
21. I want to learn Italian and go back to Italy (mainly b/c of Eat, Pray, Love & b/c it is so awesome)
22. I pretty much starved myself for a year, amongst other things, because I was relentlessly tortured by both girls & boys in junior high. Now, I find it funny/ironic they want to befriend me on FB. (people suck)
23. One of the most profound things that was ever given to me was a speech from Theodore Roosevelt. My 8th grade English teacher wrote me a note and gave it to me. It meant more to me than she’ll ever know. Thanks Ms Atherton, wherever you are. (I need to find her)
24. If I could, I’d get my nails done every week. (it is so amazing. I LOVE it)
25. I NEVER wanted kids until September 15, 2004. That day changed my life forever. (this changes everyday, but I am the BEST auntie EVER)
SONG OF THE DAY: All I Do is Win-DJ Khaled
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Committed
I'm reading the followup to Eat, Pray, Love, which you can tell from a previous post I am absolutely in love with. So, I thought why not try out the sequel?!
I'm just about halfway through it and so far..so good.
Elizabeth Gilbert looks at the history and evolution of marriage and also puts her on views post-nasty divorce.
I love history and though she doesn't go into great detail there's still plenty there to appeal to that part of me. It's interesting to see how marriage has evolved and also get her perspective on it.
I myself am divorced. My divorce wasn't actually that bad.. by no means was it easy.. no it is never easy. It was actually the year leading up to it that was hell on Earth. Nevertheless, it's always interesting to take a look at someone else's viewpoint.
It's also nice to see that Gilbert has in no way given up on love. This can often happen to people post-breakup/divorce/whatever.
Case in point, someone I know very well met "the love of their life" a while back.. they made promises..ideas were shared..futures hoped for.. the whole nine yards practically. She even believed they were on their way down the aisle soon.
But out of the blue one day Mr. X announced he wanted to be with someone else.
You can imagine said woman did not take this very well.
Devastated isn't even a word I'd put to it.. it was more than that..bless her heart.
So, we're having a conversation some months later and she confesses she ran into Mr. X. who, by the way, broke up with her over the phone (ugh). (let me take this time to point out that this is in no way acceptable for any reason whatsoever, man or woman, grow a pair and do it in person deadgummit)
Anyway, she hadn't spoke with him since that horrific text/call whatever. Mr. X apologized for how he treated her and apparently they had a good conversation of sorts. BUT I wanted to know did she scream, shout, slap, or something!? This man had ripped her heart out and stomped on it for goodness sakes!!!
So she tells me, "No, because I still love him."
WHAT THE?!
Ok, no actually, I get that.
but "Huh?"
she says though Mr. X broker her heart she loves him, still cares for him, and wishes only healthiness and happiness for him. That she thought they were meant to be together, but obviously he thought different. And, she'd rather he be happy with someone else than not at all. And then she reminded me of this:
Corinthians 13:4-7 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
And, she's right...who can disagree with that?
Which brings me to the first question I garnered from reading a part of Committed:
Why marry for anything but love?
Gilbert points out that love can be fleeting and often doesn't last forever. That the human heart and the human mind are ever-changing. Which, I do agree with. However, I think you can vow to love someone forever and make it last or it may not and you have to go your separate ways. but, I don't think that should let that keep you from falling in love and/or getting hitched.
I myself have wholeheartedly been in love 3 times in my life. I do not regret any of those times despite the fact that ALL of the relationships ended with me broken hearted. and just because I am divorced doesn't mean I don't believe in marriage. In fact, I believe I've learned valuable lessons from all my experiences and they'll make me stronger for the next relationship I may or may not get in.
Which brings me to my second question: Why stay together if one or both of you is unhappy or someone is being hurt in any way, shape, or form?
Several people have already replied to the first: "because of the kids" or "because of finances"
but I'm gonna have to say, in my own humble opinion, that this is NOT healthy.
Number 1, because kids know..they are NOT stupid, no matter how old they are. So if you are in an unhappy or unhealthy relationship they can sense that and it will directly affect their relationship with you and any future onces they get into. Find me a doctor/pyschologist/whoever that'll disagree. Go ahead.
and because of finances? bleck.. money isn't everything.. take it from this gal. Is it scary wondering where your next meal is going to come from? HECK YES. but I always believed God would find a way to provide. and He always has.
Unfortunately, I can speak as to why some people stay because they are being hurt in any way, shape, or form. They just do. They believe it will get better. They believe they deserve it. They believe it won't happen again. They believe their children don't know. They believe no one knows. I could keep going on and on and on.
Here is the only thing I can say on that: It will not get better, they will do it again, you do not deserve it, and someone knows. SO, if you are that someone that knows about ANY kind of abuse going on ANYWHERE. HELP THEM! Even if they tell you they don't need it or want it. THEY ARE LYING. HELP THEM!
So far, I really do like Committed. I hope there's a happy ending.. for all of us..
Well, except, you know.. criminals..evil people..and clowns. I hate clowns.
SONG OF THE DAY: Don't Stop Believing -Journey
I'm just about halfway through it and so far..so good.
Elizabeth Gilbert looks at the history and evolution of marriage and also puts her on views post-nasty divorce.
I love history and though she doesn't go into great detail there's still plenty there to appeal to that part of me. It's interesting to see how marriage has evolved and also get her perspective on it.
I myself am divorced. My divorce wasn't actually that bad.. by no means was it easy.. no it is never easy. It was actually the year leading up to it that was hell on Earth. Nevertheless, it's always interesting to take a look at someone else's viewpoint.
It's also nice to see that Gilbert has in no way given up on love. This can often happen to people post-breakup/divorce/whatever.
Case in point, someone I know very well met "the love of their life" a while back.. they made promises..ideas were shared..futures hoped for.. the whole nine yards practically. She even believed they were on their way down the aisle soon.
But out of the blue one day Mr. X announced he wanted to be with someone else.
You can imagine said woman did not take this very well.
Devastated isn't even a word I'd put to it.. it was more than that..bless her heart.
So, we're having a conversation some months later and she confesses she ran into Mr. X. who, by the way, broke up with her over the phone (ugh). (let me take this time to point out that this is in no way acceptable for any reason whatsoever, man or woman, grow a pair and do it in person deadgummit)
Anyway, she hadn't spoke with him since that horrific text/call whatever. Mr. X apologized for how he treated her and apparently they had a good conversation of sorts. BUT I wanted to know did she scream, shout, slap, or something!? This man had ripped her heart out and stomped on it for goodness sakes!!!
So she tells me, "No, because I still love him."
WHAT THE?!
Ok, no actually, I get that.
but "Huh?"
she says though Mr. X broker her heart she loves him, still cares for him, and wishes only healthiness and happiness for him. That she thought they were meant to be together, but obviously he thought different. And, she'd rather he be happy with someone else than not at all. And then she reminded me of this:
Corinthians 13:4-7 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
And, she's right...who can disagree with that?
Which brings me to the first question I garnered from reading a part of Committed:
Why marry for anything but love?
Gilbert points out that love can be fleeting and often doesn't last forever. That the human heart and the human mind are ever-changing. Which, I do agree with. However, I think you can vow to love someone forever and make it last or it may not and you have to go your separate ways. but, I don't think that should let that keep you from falling in love and/or getting hitched.
I myself have wholeheartedly been in love 3 times in my life. I do not regret any of those times despite the fact that ALL of the relationships ended with me broken hearted. and just because I am divorced doesn't mean I don't believe in marriage. In fact, I believe I've learned valuable lessons from all my experiences and they'll make me stronger for the next relationship I may or may not get in.
Which brings me to my second question: Why stay together if one or both of you is unhappy or someone is being hurt in any way, shape, or form?
Several people have already replied to the first: "because of the kids" or "because of finances"
but I'm gonna have to say, in my own humble opinion, that this is NOT healthy.
Number 1, because kids know..they are NOT stupid, no matter how old they are. So if you are in an unhappy or unhealthy relationship they can sense that and it will directly affect their relationship with you and any future onces they get into. Find me a doctor/pyschologist/whoever that'll disagree. Go ahead.
and because of finances? bleck.. money isn't everything.. take it from this gal. Is it scary wondering where your next meal is going to come from? HECK YES. but I always believed God would find a way to provide. and He always has.
Unfortunately, I can speak as to why some people stay because they are being hurt in any way, shape, or form. They just do. They believe it will get better. They believe they deserve it. They believe it won't happen again. They believe their children don't know. They believe no one knows. I could keep going on and on and on.
Here is the only thing I can say on that: It will not get better, they will do it again, you do not deserve it, and someone knows. SO, if you are that someone that knows about ANY kind of abuse going on ANYWHERE. HELP THEM! Even if they tell you they don't need it or want it. THEY ARE LYING. HELP THEM!
So far, I really do like Committed. I hope there's a happy ending.. for all of us..
Well, except, you know.. criminals..evil people..and clowns. I hate clowns.
SONG OF THE DAY: Don't Stop Believing -Journey
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
A Word on Fav-re
I love football..I may have mentioned that already.
And as a football fan I also love all things Mississippi & football related.. except of course Mississippi State (I have morals and values and ethics folks come on now)
The exception to MSU of course is Jerious Norwood. Went to school with that kid and he is FANTASTIC.
Anywho.. because I love all things Mississippi and football I'm delighted and an instant fan of anyone from this state who makes it to the big leagues.. i.e. the NFL. So in 1992 when Brett Favre got traded to the Green Bay Packers me and my family became instant Packer/Brett fans. The sister and I even got Dad a Favre jersey for Christmas one year. And he was a dynamite player to cheer for! Championships and Super Bowls! Mind you, we remained die hard Saints fans..but let's face it they weren't winning like we thought they should. So, as long as the 2 didn't play we could cheer Brett on! It's ridiculous how many records he holds just in the NFL..Favre played 16 seasons in Green Bay. During that time, he was the first NFL player to win three consecutive AP MVP awards. He helped the Packers appear in two Super Bowls, winning Super Bowl XXXI. Boy could he put on a show!
But then, something happened.. he stopped being the good ol'boy from Mississippi. Brett, in my opinion, got too big for his britches. and in 2008 so began the saga of "Will he, or Won't he?"
My adoration for Favre quickly went down hill from there..
He was rude to local media.. seemed to only put on a show for ESPN and they willingly obliged his antics and frankly, so did most of the country.
And if it only happened once maybe it could have stayed that way.
but he embarrassed himself by going to the Jets.. wrecked his career if you asked me and acted like a spoiled toddler. Then, he got what he wanted heading for Minnesota. I suppose those fans love him. I'm not quite sure. Frankly, my fandom of Brett Favre came to an end when he ended up with the Jets.
Now, I only hold a high level of impatience and a strong disdain for the jackass.
So, if y'all don't mind I could care less about this latest announcement.. I'm looking forward to September 9th. If Brett shows up in the Dome then we'll know.. and if does.. he better bring some Bengay.. cuz you know what happened the last time you were there buddy.
And, P.S. the WHODATS are ready for ya...
SONG OF THE DAY: Bring 'em to the Dome -Shamarr Allen & Dee
And as a football fan I also love all things Mississippi & football related.. except of course Mississippi State (I have morals and values and ethics folks come on now)
The exception to MSU of course is Jerious Norwood. Went to school with that kid and he is FANTASTIC.
Anywho.. because I love all things Mississippi and football I'm delighted and an instant fan of anyone from this state who makes it to the big leagues.. i.e. the NFL. So in 1992 when Brett Favre got traded to the Green Bay Packers me and my family became instant Packer/Brett fans. The sister and I even got Dad a Favre jersey for Christmas one year. And he was a dynamite player to cheer for! Championships and Super Bowls! Mind you, we remained die hard Saints fans..but let's face it they weren't winning like we thought they should. So, as long as the 2 didn't play we could cheer Brett on! It's ridiculous how many records he holds just in the NFL..Favre played 16 seasons in Green Bay. During that time, he was the first NFL player to win three consecutive AP MVP awards. He helped the Packers appear in two Super Bowls, winning Super Bowl XXXI. Boy could he put on a show!
But then, something happened.. he stopped being the good ol'boy from Mississippi. Brett, in my opinion, got too big for his britches. and in 2008 so began the saga of "Will he, or Won't he?"
My adoration for Favre quickly went down hill from there..
He was rude to local media.. seemed to only put on a show for ESPN and they willingly obliged his antics and frankly, so did most of the country.
And if it only happened once maybe it could have stayed that way.
but he embarrassed himself by going to the Jets.. wrecked his career if you asked me and acted like a spoiled toddler. Then, he got what he wanted heading for Minnesota. I suppose those fans love him. I'm not quite sure. Frankly, my fandom of Brett Favre came to an end when he ended up with the Jets.
Now, I only hold a high level of impatience and a strong disdain for the jackass.
So, if y'all don't mind I could care less about this latest announcement.. I'm looking forward to September 9th. If Brett shows up in the Dome then we'll know.. and if does.. he better bring some Bengay.. cuz you know what happened the last time you were there buddy.
And, P.S. the WHODATS are ready for ya...
SONG OF THE DAY: Bring 'em to the Dome -Shamarr Allen & Dee
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