My Burfday Wishes

On this birthday I shall exit my twenties and turn 29+1. Aside from the obvious..world peace.. I have compiled a list of burfday wishes. Just in case, you know.. maybe my mom will ask.. I dunno.

1. Bradley Cooper http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Qd6oSmKrWA

2. Nook http://blogkindle.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/nook.jpg

3. Saints Tickets http://www.ticketexchangebyticketmaster.com/nfl/new-orleans-saints-tickets/?intcmp=tm101107&wt.mc_id=NFL_TEAM_NO_MAIN_TIX_LINK2

4. Car Stereo sorta like this http://www.bestbuy.com/site/JVC+-+50W+x+4+MOSFET+In-Dash+CD+Deck+with+Built-in+HD+Radio+and+MP3+Playback+-+Black/1930267.p?id=1218301622330&skuId=1930267

5. This guy shipped to Greenland http://thewifehatessports.com/wp-content/gallery/nfl/reggie-bush-tweet-2011-nfl-draft.jpg

6. Iphone 5 http://www.dvdtoiphone4.com/images/iphone-5/iphone-5.jpg

7. Beer http://www.craftbeer.com/attachments/0002/8906/strawberry_art_post.jpg?1304692066

8. Gift Cards to awesome places like this http://images.macrumors.com/article-new/2011/06/bestbuy.jpg

9. Joe Manganiello http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-uKrm2Vud8

10. Roku Box http://www.otaott.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/roku_xds_player1.jpg

New Year's GOALS

So, it's been a HOT minute since I've blogged. I honestly thought I'd have more time and more to say. Well, neither turned out to be the case. but no judging.. cuz I don't see you getting all bloggy blog on the internets yo.
Anywho, 2010 is ending. This year turned out to not be the GREAT AMAZEBALLS occurence that I so hoped it'd be after The Great Suckfest of 2009. I suppose the years like my life, are a work in progress. I don't have great hopes for 2011, I'm learning to not put faith in that whole "time heals all wounds" bullshit. Because frankly, the wounds I have aren't really the "healing" kind..more like the "leaving scars to remind you exactly what you been through" kind.
But with the new year should come some goals or something.
I don't believe in making resolutions. Frankly, NO ONE on this PLANET sticks to New Year's Resolutions (if you say you do, you're a liar). and I FOR SURE can't make a commitment like that. So, I'm setting some goals for myself. Will I achieve them all? Maybe. Maybe Not. Shit. Happens. Life. Happens. All I can do is try..right?

JENNA'S EPIC AMAZEBALLS AWESOMESAUCE GOALS FOR 2011 or you know, the future:

1. to get some happy (now to figure out how to go about doing so)

2. to spend more time with friends (cuz they are some AMAZEBALLS folks)

3. to worry less (yeah right but still, I can TRY)

4. to continue to make the people important to me a priority, but not so much so that I no longer take care of myself (it’s a BAD habit)

5. to actually get on the treadmill (we’ll see what happens after I step on the thing, I'm not making promises here kids)

6. to somehow get the money situation in check (sigh, sadly, this may take til the 3 year time limit is up, but hey it's a goal for then)

7. to throw myself onehelluva29+1 burfday party (I’m thinking sequins)

8. to try new things (just to get some of the chicken/wuss out)

9. to get another tattoo (a. to improve my badass street cred & b. cuz I want 1 or 2 more)

10. to live


Song of the Day: "We Will Rock You" -Queen

I'm Here So You Have Something to Talk About, Err, Not Really...

A favorite quote of mine is "I'm here so you have something to talk about"
The truth is.. not so much. I'm not a fan of being talked about..
Let me clarify..I mean gossiped about, talked about disparingly, badly etc.
I work in a business where most folks feel entitled to know all they can about you whether or not you are actually friends. I.E. THEY ARE NOSEY.
I still haven't gotten use to this. I'm not a hugely private person but there some things I believe aren't anyones business unless I tell them myself.
And, I would have more respect for someone if they just flat out asked me a question rather than gossiped/speculated/etc.
Which brings me to my next point...what's worse than someone you are not friends with gossiping/speculating/etc about you? Someone you consider a friend.
Same thing holds true in this situation..ask ME..don't ask someone else.
It really chaps my hide when so-called friends behave this way...Especially if you are over the age of 16. It is ridiculous. Grow. Up.

Song of the Day: Gossip Folks by Missy Elliott

I didn't think this is where I'd be...

I just recently had myself a birthday.
Birthday are BIG FRIGGIN' DEALS in my family. And, I may take it a step further, you know, because I can. Generally, my birthday celebration lasts between a week and the entire month..depending on my mood. I make no apologies for it. You can either get on board or get off the birthday train, it makes no difference to me.
However, with this year's birthday came some perspective, or retrospective...basically it got me thinking.
"I am not where I thought I would be."
Truthfully, who is? But we're not talking about everyone here.. we're talking about me..or rather, I'm talking about me. I'm 29. Divorced/Single. and a whole lotta other stuff.
I'm a planner. In fact, I've been made fun of because of how much I like to plan. (yeah, I'm not speaking to those people anymore) Anywho, like I said, I love to plan. Big plans, small plans, vacation plans whatever. I'm the plan maker. In another life I'd adore being an event planner I think. Which is why, in my head, I made all these plans for myself. However, I never really informed anyone else, assumed "everyone" else would go along with it, and furthermore than God would just provide the path to make it all happen.
Yeah, I realize now.. STUPID GIRL.
Life is not about the plans I'm making.. it is about the plans that God has for me. This.. has been a work in progress for me.. but I'm learning..
Thankfully, he has been patient with me.
So no, I am not where I thought I would be..
but now I'm easing up on making the plans and waiting to see what the plan is...


Song of the Day: "Good Life" One Republic

Kids, or those little people other "adults" have..

Never been a huge fan of them, I'm not going to lie to you. At around age 2 my parents brought home a bouncing baby girl they informed me was my new little sister. Two weeks later I asked them to return said sister because "she made too much noise".
They opted to keep her and I've liked her off and on for most of her life.. I still contend she makes too much noise on most occasions.
So then there was the time honored tradition of babysitting. I took the course, got myself certified, and took on the working world. It didn't take long for me to realize this wasn't going to be an easy money making adventure. There was actual work involved.. Kids are stressful, need constant attention, and needy. After a few jobs I informed my parents I would no longer be making money through this enterprise because homicide is illegal.
It was also around this time that I announced to said parents they would not be getting grandchildren out of me.. they either needed to look to the sister they decided to keep or adopt their own.

For years I seriously felt this way. I'd go to college, get my degree, get married, and then the hubs and I would take vacations to Disney World..Childless. It sounded absolutely intoxicating and glorius.. no throwup, spitups, whining, childish antics (cept from the husband, that's another day/another blog) Then the "little" sister got preggers.

In September of 2004 I met my nephew and life as I knew it changed forever.
I am completely head-over-heels in love with this kid. I wept nearly uncontrollably as the nurse brought him out for all to see.
I'd do ANYTHING for him.. walk over hot coals, get hit by a train, buy ridiculous amounts of sweets/toys/food/whateverhefreakingwants.

Now, a niece is on her way. Frankly, I'm beyond excited. I ADORE my nephew and have boatloads of fun with him. BUT, he won't wear tutus... and I'm gonna make this chick..she just doesn't know it yet.. (no, I'm not kidding) I want and hope I can do anything for my niece and nephew. I never want them to want for anything. I love them both so very much..

This has even got me rethinking my "no kids" policy. I'd be a liar if I didn't admit it did. Thankfully, my biological clock is not a-ticking. And, fortunately, if I ever decided to procreate, I've got a few years left under my belt.

I still like the idea of traveling to Disney World and various other parts of the globe childless. Let's face it... I really like souvenirs and if you have kids they're gonna want them to. At this point in my life I would much rather buy what I want for myself and bring back the nephew & niece something....

Song of the Day: Feels Like Today -Rascal Flatts

Wear Sunscreen...

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be
it.
The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by
scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
than my own meandering
experience…
I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth;
oh nevermind; you will not
understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and
recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before
you and how fabulous you really looked….
You’re not as fat as you
imagine.
Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing
bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that
never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm
on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing
Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with
people who are reckless with yours.

Floss
Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes
you’re behind…
the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with
yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you
succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your
life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they
wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year
olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.
Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t,
maybe you’ll have children,maybe
you won’t,
maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky
chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…
whatever you do, don’t
congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either –
your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people
think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever
own..

Dance…
even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for
good.

Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the
people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you
should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and
lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you
knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard;
live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths:
prices will rise, politicians will
philander, you too will get old,
and when you do you’ll fantasize
that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were
noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund,
maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one
might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will
look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who
supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of
fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the
ugly parts and recycling it for more than
it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen…

Letters to Exes

The art of letter writing is a dying one.. I remember getting so excited whenever I received one.
I am also partial to getting the last word in..so that’s led me to today’s post..
Letters to Exes…

I believe all relationships that come to an end should serve as life lessons. Now, some do more than others, so I’m picking a Top 5 of sorts.. mainly because that’s my lucky number..and because I have no intention of filling up this blog with all my past transgressions.. so here goes nothing:

Letter #1:
Dear CG,
You never forget your first love. So, I will never forget you. I learned so many things from our relationship. Namely, since you were my first kiss that I simply adore kissing. Most of the firsts that come along with puppy love were to follow..including my first broken heart. Thankfully, I also learned that you can indeed survive one. Actually, I learned you can survive it not once, but twice. Fortunately, now I am older and wiser and just know that it was definitely a stepping stone for things to come..
So thanks for the memories good and even bad, -JJ

Letter #2:
Dear JP,
I learned that some guys should come with a warning label. As a matter of fact, many should have one tattooed on their forehead. You, would be, one of those people. Maybe, some women should come with one too. But make no mistake, a warning label would save a whole lotta folks a whole lotta trouble. And, it doesn’t have to be that detailed.. a simple “Warning: Stay Away” would suffice.
No I just hope you find someone who loves the same two things that you do. -JJ

Letter #3:
Dear AS,
Timing..everything is a matter of timing..this is just one of the things I took from our time together. Also, it is nice to be friends with someone before you get involved any further. It brings a certain level of comfort to the situation. The only sad part is it further adds to the broken heartedness when it ends because you not only lose someone you love but a friend as well. I had truly convinced myself we would last forever. but, I think at the age of 18 you think that way about everything…
So, then I learned everything happens for a reason. And again, you can always pick yourself up and dust everything off and keep on trucking.

Now, One of us is married, and happy, with kids.. so see? It does work out.. Congratulations -JJ


Letter #4:
Dear JL,
Everyone is looking for something..and sometimes people think they can find it in another person. Others attempt to find what they are looking for in different ways. So, I learned it is okay to have hopes and dreams and to believe in them and believe in someone else’s. but you have to eventually choose, decide, pick, hone in on..something/someone. And, you have to be willing to compromise..but not on yourself or your beliefs. I grew up a lot in the time we were together and in that time I learned a lot about me. I think life’s journey is about learning about yourself and if you can do that alongside someone else it can only enhance it.. but sometimes it doesn’t. Every once in a while, it hurts more than it helps.
So to you I hope you do find what you are looking for. -JJ

Letter #5:
Dear CC,
“a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that’s holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake.”
I admit I found that in a book I read recently..so I can’t take the credit for it. But yes, walls were torn down, I was “smacked” awake so-to-speak. Then, I set out on making plans for a future..our future..
But I should have known just as soon as I had some ideas, a little thing like life would bring me back to reality. I bet all I had on a thing called love, but in the end, I learned it wasn’t enough. And, so the lesson is..sometimes even love is a gamble. And, just because you want one thing doesn’t mean the other person does. You made the choice and went where you really wanted to be. I can do nothing now but respect that.
I only ever wanted you to be truly happy, which is really what love is about….being happy… But JMCC AND JLCC and good luck. -JJ


In the wake of my “letters” this came out as well.. I haven’t written a poem in ages.. I guess maybe because I technically “write” every day.. but nevertheless here it is..

I am haunted by a ghost
But, not the kind of which scary movies boasts.
It is of a past,
that did not last,
the forever that was promised to me.
So, now I turn my head and hope to see
the hands, the heart, and the face
that will help erase
what lingers from a hope so pure
that made each breath more sure
of what I thought there was to be..
the you.. the me..the we..
But I.. I was not your choice
And now I'm left with no voice
Be happy.. for that is what meant most
And I.. I will forever hold my ghost


SONGS OF THE DAY:
"Don’t Dream It’s Over" –Crowded House and
“Some Day When I Stop Loving You” –Carrie Underwood